Of Love And Loss
by Sinister137
Summary: Two years after last seeing his ex-girlfriend, whose name he just can't remember, Arthur can't help but remember just about everything else about her. punk!England/fem!America Based on a song for each chapter, but not songfics!. T for England's angry potty mouth. Cover by gavorche-san on deviantart.
1. Whatshername

**I own NOTHING. Would love to but, alas…**

Song: Whatshername- Green Day

Couple: punk!England/fem! America

Arthur sighed as he climbed out of bed and pulled on his black skinny jeans and threw on a union jack T-shirt. He either had to go get groceries today or spend another 30 bucks on some stale pizza. He left his apartment and jogged down the stairs and finally left the run down complex. The former Brit walked down the street listening to his iPod which was luckily still in his jeans from the night before. When he was about to turn down another street to go to the market he saw someone incredibly familiar. What was her name again? Amy? Amelia? Emily? He couldn't recall her name but her face… It was as beautiful as ever, if not more so. He only spotted her for a split second, but even that was enough to see that golden short hair and shining blue eyes.

Arthur woke up with a gasp.

"Oh, it was just that dream again…" he said sighing as he repeated that actions of his dream, though he didn't see that gorgeous all-American girl that he left his country for all those years ago. He shook his head trying to get hid of the memories. He burned all of the photos off her and him, or the old him he should say. He no longer was the stuffy, sweater-wearing, knitting prat he used to be. He had random colored streaks in his blonde hair, several piercings, and dressed in skinny jeans and torn up T-shirts. The only thing he had in common with his former appearance was his green eyes, thick eye brows, and the small tattoo in between his shoulder blades of a heart half filled the Union jack and half filled with the American flag with his and Whatshername's names circling it. Whatshername had the same tattoo on her lower back. He didn't change his gentlemanly ways until she broke up with him and broke his heart for the Russian her parents were making her marry despite her obvious hatred for the 'commie bastard'. He wouldn't have blamed her for it if it wasn't for the fact she wouldn't run away with him back to England like he suggested, but she let herself be used so that she could have a comfortable life with her parents and fiancé's money. No matter how hard he tried she wouldn't leave with him. And he couldn't leave without her. All these memories and he couldn't remember her name…

He couldn't help but wonder how she has been. It has been two years since he saw her after all. Did she ever marry Ivan? Or did she get over her selfishness so that she could actually live her life? He wished he didn't burn all those pictures, since they might have helped remember her name. It was killing him to not know who he was so in love with.

It didn't really matter if he remembered or not. She wasn't his anymore and he needed to move on. He continued to attempt to convince himself to forget her as he grabbed a grocery cart and added the necessities to it.

He couldn't regret meeting her and loving her no matter how hard he tried. She had shown him there was so much more to life, which just made it more disappointing that she couldn't live herself. She was forever in his mind and his heart and she would never leave those places, even if she left him.

Even when his grief was at it's worst he would never wish away their time. Even if he could turn back time so that he never met her and never had his heartbroken by her he wouldn't. Even if he could stop loving her, he wouldn't. She was his, and he would never completely forget her, even if she wasn't there.

He was interrupted with his foreboding thoughts as someone tapped on his shoulder.

"Hey dude, do you mind? You're in front of the hamburger meat." He turned around to tell the person off and declare his rights to take as long as he bloody pleases when he froze.

It was _her._

She gasped as well.

"Artie?"

**Mwahahaha, want more? Perhaps… with enough reviews *plays with fancy moustache* like one… one would be enough I'm simple and a first time writer for websites, and all my stories so far were written today so I haven't had a review yet…**

**If you didn't follow the background…**

**Artie and Emily (my favorite fem!America name) met in England, while she was visiting. He moved to America and got his citizenship and all that. They broke up because her rich parents wanted her to marry Ivan, a rich Russian guy. She hated him but didn't want to give up her life of luxury so she broke up with Arthur and… well that's all we know for sure. Now we find heartbroken Arthur turned punk in a cheap grocery store were he runs into oh… Whatshername? XD **

**If you guys want me to I'll keep going, I like this story.**


	2. 1000 Years

**:') I love you guys! A review an hour after I put it up?! Yay! Well a promise is a promise so here you go~. I think I'm going to have a song for every chapter, because honestly it makes it way easier o.O I always attempted to write stuff like this but never could get it right, but I do it to songs and I have 3 in a day XD. So yeah songs until I get to be more original ^^ Though this one was only motivation.**

Song: 1000 Years- Christina Perri

(Emily's POV, 1 ½ years ago)

Emily sighed as she tugged at her white wedding dress. It clung to her figure in a complementing yet graceful way and to be honest she looked beautiful. Not a hair was out of place, her make up was perfect, and so was her dress. The only thing that dulled her appearance was her eyes, the once lively shining blue had become dull and almost grey. Everything about the wedding was perfect, all the flowers, which were white roses and sunflowers, weren't even slightly wilting, the cake was a pristine white, and all who attended were just as perfect looking. But she didn't want _this_ wedding, or _those_ guests, or _that_ cake, or _those _flowers, or _this_ dress, or even _that fiancé._ She wanted spur-of-the-moment, friends and close relatives, homemade cake, wildflowers, simple dress in her closet, but most of all…

She wanted Arthur.

She felt tears prick her eyes as she thought of her British ex-boyfriend. She should have listened to him and ran away with him to England, but she had been so scared. She had never had to work and she had never really been out in the real world.

So she wimped out.

And she lost him.

She sat down and tried to regain her composure when she heard the door open.

"Em?" she heard her brother, Matthew call out softly.

"Hey Mattie, so how does the food look?" she asked looking down. She heard him chuckle slightly as he shuffled towards her and sat down beside her.

"Only you could think of food right now," he said with a small grin as he wrapped an arm around her for a comforting hug.

She shrugged and sighed holding a small beret in her hand.

"Emily, is that-" Matthew started.

"My something old? Why, yes Mattie it is." she said clutching the small star shaped beret in her hand.

"Come on Em, you have to let him go you're getting married today." he said rubbing back gently.

Emily just shook her head.

The two twins jumped when they heard the door open again.

"Emily! It's time dear, Matthew hurry up! You are the best man, aren't you?" questioned the twins father, George. "You go first with that Kat girl!"

Matthew nodded as he jumped to his feet and gave Emily a small, sad smile and then left to go down the aisle.

"Are you ready, dear?" George asked. Emily stood up and took a deep breath before placing the silver star shaped beret in her golden hair.

"I'm ready."

Her father offered his arm, but Emily just shook her head.

"Actually dad, I think I want to do this on my own. After all after today I'm on my own aren't I?" she reasoned with him.

"Well yes, I suppose other then Ivan anyway. Well good luck then, dear. I'll see you in there," he flashed her a smile and left her alone once more.

After he left she took one more deep breath and gently pulled her veil over her hair so the see-though fabric covered her face and she left the room.

She got to the doors just in time, and watched as her final bridesmaid, Ivan's younger sister Natalia, stroll through the large wooden doors. She got in place and waited for them to open again. She heard the wedding march begin and heard shuffling as everyone stood up. Finally, the doors opened and everyone gasped at how lovely she looked. She felt her heartbeat speed up and couldn't help but think of Arthur and all their promises to each other as she slowly made her way to the head of the church. The lack of color was making her dizzy, everything was either white or yellow, the colors of the guests clothing, the bridesmaid's dresses, the groomsmen's tuxes.

With every step she was getting closer and closer to Ivan, to a future she couldn't get away from, and getting farther and farther away from _him._

She had to be brave for once. She had to be the hero for _herself_ to save herself from so much unhappiness.

So she stopped.

And she froze.

And after a second the pianist, some Austrian protégé, stopped as well.

And everyone was looking at her.

"I can't do this." She said clearly, life coming back to her dull, covered eyes and everyone gasped. Though she did catch her brother grin.

"I won't marry you." She pulled the veil off her head, ruining her hair and the ring off her finger, ruining her future and threw both onto the ground.

"But, Sunflower! I lo-"

"I don't love you! Hell, I don't even like you! I'm not doing this to myself!" she screamed at him and turned around and stormed out of the church, throwing her bouquet after her.

A platinum blonde girl raced down the aisle and dived for the bouquet.

"Now big brother, there is nothing keeping us apart! Marry me! Marry me! Marry me!" chanted the insane girl as the rest of the church fell into shock.

Emily ran down the many stairs of the church ready to stop one of the many New York taxis when she noticed someone.

Two someones in fact.

Her amazing brother and his boyfriend Gilbert, though her parents didn't know about that, were standing beside Matthew's red convertible, both of them were grinning at her.

She smiled as she threw her arms around both of them.

"Have I ever told you guys how _awesome_ you are?"

Matthew smiled blushing slightly as he got in the shotgun seat while Gilbert got in the driver's seat.

"Ja, but I can't get enough of it, and I know Birdie can't either!" Gilbert said laughing as he drove away quickly from the church.

"So where to Em?" Matthew asked his sister, who looked happier then he had seen her in months.

"My old place. Do you know where that is Gil?" she said thinking about Arthur with a large grin on her face. After they broke up she set up payment for a years rent in the townhouse as an 'I'm sorry' gift. He was surely still there.

"Ja, ja. I know."

They arrived at the town house quickly and Emily didn't even wait for the car to come to a complete stop before leaping out and running up to the door. She grabbed a key that was hidden in a flower pot shaped like bunny with wings that was painted a fresh mint color. She laughed slightly, that was always Arthur's favorite. She quickly thrust the key into the lock and opened it, as well as the door. She rushed into the house grinning happily and laughing on her adrenaline high. "Artie!~ I'm home~!" she called out and finally opened her eyes to the room around her.

It was empty.

And dark.

The furniture that was there was covered in white sheets and all of the personal items were gone. Emily frowned as she went up the stairs to their bedroom.

"He-He's probably about to paint the walls or something… that's all…" she reassured herself with her hand on the doorknob.

She pushed the door open, her eyes shut night in fear.

When she opened them, tears followed.

It was empty.

And it was dark.

The mattress was gone and the frame was the only furniture left. It was dusty and she saw something like ripped up paper by it.

She walked forward to insect it getting more dust and grime on her dress, and she leaned down to look at the paper.

They were pictures.

Of her…

And him..

And they were burnt.

Emily let out a wail of sadness as she fell to her knees.

**Well aren't I depressing? I like it though! I think I'm making this a real story so next time I update I'll rename it. 'Of Love and Loss' I think would be good :D Obviously I'm going to continue it, for my satisfaction of an ending if not for your's.**

**Please review! Even a smiley face from and anonymous reviewer is a lovely way to brighten my day ^^.**


	3. The Scientist

'**Ello again my lovelies! Here is yet another chapter, but for the record my long weekend ends today so new chapters won't be an everyday thing though there will diffidently be at least a chapter a week. There will probably be somewhere from 5-10 chapters by the end of the story, it depends on how dramatic I'm feeling but, I have some ideas for a quick fluffy ever after and one for a dramatic adventurous _ ever after. Enjoy! Reviews make my keyboard more appealing ;) Once again song is only inspiration.**

Song: The Scientist- Coldplay

(Arthur's POV)

"Artie?" she gasped out.

Well…

This was obviously a dream.

"Bloody hell, this again? Usually I only have this nightmare once a night, and I never see you for this long," he spat out spitefully, glaring at his figment of imagination. The girl, who was clearly nonexistent, frowned at this. Well not frowned, it was _her_ after all. She never frowned, she just pouted in that ridiculously cute way of hers.

"You've been dreaming about me? But they're nightmares?" she asked the first part a bit excitedly, though the second part sounded very un-_her_ like.

"Just what _is _your name again?" he asked, maybe the portion of his mind that created these figments knew, even if he couldn't recall. "I can't, for the life of me, remember."

The fake girl grew to look even more upset. "M-My name is Emily… Emily F. Jones?"

Arthur narrowed his eyes. "Ah… that's right, but I got one thing wrong. It's Emily F. _Bradinski_ now, isn't it love?" he asked, not looking for an answer.

He felt his heart twitch as he noticed that fake Emily looked to be on the verge of tears.

"N-No Arthur, it's Jones. I ran out on our wedding. And then I went home, to _our_ home. And you weren't there," explained the girl softly.

'_Ha, there is no way this is Emily! Emily is always happy! Always loud! She would never talk like this, or even act like this!'_

Arthur just rolled his eyes again and decided he would go along with his imagination, maybe it would give him some false closure, but closure nonetheless.

"Well, of course I was gone. I was dumped by my girlfriend of 3 years, after I uprooted my entire life for her to move to this damned country, for some communist Russian, whom she hated, but married just so she could remain rich!" he yelled. "Why on Earth would I want to spend another minute in the damned house in which we shared our relationship? If I did stay, I probably would have ended up killing myself from the grief!"

Fake Emily winced at the idea of this and her eyes grew sadder.

"Artie," she began. "I'm so sorry. I really did leave him I swear! These past two years have been hell without you but, I swear I didn't want this to happen. I only agreed to my parents terms because I was scared, but I promise you I didn't want to hurt you! As soon as I realized what I was doing I went back to find you and all I found was burnt up pictures of us! I talked to Yao, you know our old landlord? And he had no idea where you went! Only that you came in one day, said you were leaving but not to return the money paid incase you needed a place later on in the year. Then after that, POOF! No more Arthur! I tried your brothers, your friends, hell even Francis, and no one knew where you were! Artie, I was so scared that something had happened to you or you had done something," at this he felt the imaginary girl throw her arms around him and bury her face into his shoulder. "I was so worried…"

Arthur froze. She was right, there was no more Arthur. No where except his mind of course. He hadn't spoken to anyone of his old life since he and Emily broke up and now all of his new friends called him 'Iggy,' and they didn't even know his real name. He usually acted nothing like his former self, who was a classic gentleman, loved to read, and though he had always had a bad temper he used to control it much better. Now he was spiteful, practically made himself deaf from his music, and got in to may bar fights to count.

He sighed as he realized what he had done to his life.

"Okay conscious, I get it! I need to let it go and move on with my life. I'll call my brothers and old friends when I wake up, just please stop torturing me like this!" Arthur called out to the ceiling, where his supposed conscious was running the scene. Emily let go of him and looked at him confused.

"Artie, this isn't a dream. I'm real."

Arthur just sighed, "Sure you are love, because Emily F. Jones is just going to magically reappear in my life and make it _all_ better." At this he crossed his arms and leaned against the freezer door. Still in front of the hamburger meat… **(A.N. since you know, there hasn't been anymore mention of the fact that they are at a grocery store…)**

She gave him a cocky half smile. "Well you _did _always believe in magic. What was that one spell again? _Dumbledoras the Exploras!_" she teased with her customary loud life.

"Oh, be quiet you git! At least I don't believe in aliens! What was that one you 'corresponded' with? _Tony?_ That was just a man in a grey suit screaming obscenities," he teased back, not noticing how he stepped closer and was grinning a similar half grin. But then he frowned again. "Plus, I think it was that spell that brought that backwards Russian into our lives anyway."

Emily frowned as well and looked down. "I'm sorry that I was such a coward."

Arthur didn't respond but just pulled her into his arms.

"You know, I'm still quite positive this is a dream." he mumbled, tightening his grip in fear of losing her again.

"No way Artie, you're stuck with me. Forever this time." she promised, looking up at him with a smile. He smiled back and leaned down and kissed her gently.

He felt his heartbeat race at the still somehow familiar lips pressed against his own.

'_If this is a dream, I'm never going to wake up…'_

"If you two are done vith your sweet moment, vould you please eizer buy some zing or get out!" yelled the stuffy Austrian store owner. The two chuckled and ran out of the store, hand in hand.

"So," Emily said as they walked out the door. "You have a tongue piercing?"

**And there we go! This chapter isn't really based on the song at all, but whatever listening to it gave me the idea so it gets credit. I could either leave it here as a nice sad fluffy piece, but I won't I think I'm going to add some dramatic factors to it. ;) After all the two haven't seen each other for two years and Arthur still kind of believes it's a dream. Like I said, reviews make my fingers faster ^^.**


	4. Lie To Me

**I'm baaack~! A little early but I stumbled on a perfect song and couldn't get this idea out of my head all day while I was at school. Do you know how hard it is to take boring biology notes when you have action scenes(from a later on chapter) and sad stories running through your head? It's impossible -_-. Anyway, enjoy to those of you who read these! Reviews make me scream 'Reviews!' before I happily read them and search harder for my next idea~ Once again just inspired by song. Like 2 lines could actually go with it…**

Song: Lie To Me- Stones

_The two chuckled and ran out of the store, hand in hand._

"_So," Emily said as they walked out the door. "You have a tongue piercing?"_

Or at least, that's how Emily wishes it ended. But that reality was the actual dream, even if Emily herself wasn't one like Arthur had thought earlier.

_Arthur just sighed, "Sure you are love, because Emily F. Jones is just going to magically reappear in my life and make it all better." At this he crossed his arms and leaned against the freezer door. Still in front of the hamburger meat…_

_She gave him a cocky half smile. "Well you did always believe in magic. What was that one spell again? Dumbledoras the Exploras!" she teased with her customary loud laugh._

Arthur just glared at her. "Fine," he snapped. "You're real! But why would I care? You left me for someone you couldn't even stand! I don't care if you changed your mind right before the 'I do's or not! You can't just come back in my life and expect me to take you back with no consequences! Bloody git…" He growled the last part to himself and then turned around angrily to grab random food products from the shelves, not even bothering to check the price. He just wanted to get the damned food that caused him to run into his past and _get out._

He heard rapid footsteps behind him and then two small hands grabbed his shoulders to pull him to a stop. '_Of course she's still ridiculously strong, because the Fates just couldn't give me _one_ break…'_

"Consequences?" she asked, her eyes wide in eagerness. Arthur looked at her, completely baffled with why she repeated the word.

"Yes… consequences. As in results of your actions and decisions before. Really Emily, do I just need to buy you a dictionary?" he said snobbishly, and he realized for a brief moment he sounded a lot like his old self.

"No, no. YOU said 'You can't just come back in my life and expect me to take you back with no consequences.' So, what are the consequences?" she asked with that billion watt smile. Arthur, however, was a bit too shocked to respond. "Because, I'm not loosing you again Artie. I can understand if you found someone else or something…" her voice got a bit smaller. "But we can still be friends right? I mean, no one knows Ar-thur Kirk-land better then me!" she said his name in the silly singsong way that she used all the time when they first met, and he wouldn't let her call him 'Artie'. "And no one knows me better then you! I'll do anything you want. Promise! Just, please Artie don't push me away…" She clasped her hands together and her lips formed into a pout as her eyes practically doubled in size and tears began to look on the verge of shedding.

'_That's just cheating…'_Arthur thought to himself. He let out a long exaggerated sigh as he looked her over.

"Fine, just friends," he mumbled. She let out a cheer and he pulled his hand through his multicolored hair. "First things first. You have to help me take all this crap back to my place. You made me take too long and it's noon now. All the cabs in this city are taken by now for lunch hour." Emily nodded excitedly with that stupid giant grin of hers. He grabbed his cart once again and wheeled it over to the cash register, Emily following behind shortly after putting away the few things she had in her cart.

"Vell, it's about time! I vas about to kick ze two of you out! You're lucky zat no other customers came in or I vould of had to," lectured the prissy Austrian store owner. **(yeah he's real ;) just not Emily's little lalaland :'( ) **

Arthur gave a half-baked apology, not even bothering to listen to his own words, as the Austrian rang up the groceries.

"Zat will be $77.13."

Arthur's large eyebrows shot up in shock at the price and quickly looked through the bad to find what was so expensive. He rolled his eyes as he pulled out two small cans of caviar.

"Take these off of the tab, please." He asked tossing the cans at the Austrian, who barely caught them.

"Careful! You dent it you buy it!" he sniffed in his snobbish voice, not unlike Arthur's from earlier. Nevertheless the snobby man removed the price of the caviar from the cost.

"Do I know you from somewhere?" Emily asked, looking very confused at the well dressed man running the rundown store.

He snorted, "I doubt it. No one has heard of me for 2 years. I used to be Roderich Eldenstein! A famous concert pianist! But, oh no ze ONE wedding, the only one I've ever done just _had_ to have a runaway bride! Since zen I have been 'cursed' and no one will hire me! My girlfriend Elizabeta got me zis store for somezing to do during the day. Your total I now $32.12." He addressed the last part to Arthur. Emily's eyes widened and her cheeks grew a bright red color.

"Um, my car's the blue one on the corner." she said quickly to Arthur, and then grabbed the bags and rushed out of the store while Roderich was giving Arthur back his change.

"How odd," Roderich commented as she ran.

"Yes, very. Then again, she's always been a bit off I suppose." he said with a shrug as he pocketed the money and followed her out.

**A.N.: Yeah, it's Roddy! Yay~ Anyway, I think this is A LOT more realistic, as Louise-Maria pointed out, it was far too easy for them to get together, but I was in a very fluffy mood the other day. (Year and a month anniversary, so yeah…) But today I'm on the other end of the scale so Emily has to work for it a bit. Speaking of fluff, sorry Hyper V! Fluff will be coming up, but more of the friendly type! Eventually though :D And to whomever wrote under Guest, yes Emily does have friends (who will be fem!Japan, Prussia, France, and Canada aswell as anyone else I feel like throwing in) they were just mad at her and didn't come to the wedding since they were friends with Arthur as well. Thank you all so much for the views, reviews, and follows.**

**Mochi-America for everyone that reviews!**


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